This isn't really going to be about curriculum. It's not about anything that we do in the classroom at all, really (except whether or not schooling gets done). This is about how I'm still struggling on how to juggle being a mom, a teacher, and a housewife. After a few meltdowns and random crying fits, I've finally admitted to myself that I cannot do it all. Nor is it any fun to even try. I get completely overwhelmed when faced with a messy living room, a cluttered dining room table, a pile of laundry, and fingerprints all over the kitchen cabinets. Through in an unruly, hyperactive 7-year old and I'm done. I finally had to admit that I wasn't the super mom that I thought I was and that I needed help. The question was, with my husband at work and no money in the budget for a maid, how was I going to get it? I have an active 7 year-old boy. It was time to put him to work.
Now, I've tried chore charts before. I've tried behavior charts before. There always seems to be a wonderful honeymoon period where these nifty, laminated, colorful management tools work. You know, for a few weeks you remember that instead of shouting at your child, you simply tell them to move their clip/picture/button down on their behavior chart and have them sit on their timeout chair/stair/mat/corner. They huff and pout, move their clip, sit, tell you they're sorry, and attitudes are changed. Viola! And everyone is happy. Until someone slips, forgets about the clip, and then the management tool goes into the back of the closet with the rest of the behavior modification tools you've tried. I totally get it. I too have a collection of said tools.
However, I am all about determination and finding what works. In our family we always talk about being a team. We discuss with our son how important it is that everyone in the family works together to keep the house clean, to support each other, to be there for each other. We are a unit, and therefore, must work together to keep our home safe and happy. Since The Monk can read and knows how important teamwork is in our house, I have included him in doing the chores that used to constantly overwhelm me. In short, I asked for his help.
Now, I've tried chore charts before. I've tried behavior charts before. There always seems to be a wonderful honeymoon period where these nifty, laminated, colorful management tools work. You know, for a few weeks you remember that instead of shouting at your child, you simply tell them to move their clip/picture/button down on their behavior chart and have them sit on their timeout chair/stair/mat/corner. They huff and pout, move their clip, sit, tell you they're sorry, and attitudes are changed. Viola! And everyone is happy. Until someone slips, forgets about the clip, and then the management tool goes into the back of the closet with the rest of the behavior modification tools you've tried. I totally get it. I too have a collection of said tools.
However, I am all about determination and finding what works. In our family we always talk about being a team. We discuss with our son how important it is that everyone in the family works together to keep the house clean, to support each other, to be there for each other. We are a unit, and therefore, must work together to keep our home safe and happy. Since The Monk can read and knows how important teamwork is in our house, I have included him in doing the chores that used to constantly overwhelm me. In short, I asked for his help.
Now, these are not chores that he gets paid to do (we don't really do that, since he lives in this house, he should help keep it clean without getting paid to do so. If he wants an allowance, he has to go above and beyond, like help his daddy clean out the chicken coop, or pull weeds in mommy's flower garden). These are simple daily tasks that we can to, together as a team, to help keep our home neat and tidy. And it also helps me from getting completely crazed by having to do everything by myself.
We also needed something to help him track his behavior. As most parents with ADHD children know, structure is key. And so is knowing what expectations are. That's why The Monk has 3 things that he needs to do, every day. If he can get good marks for at least 3 days a week, we can have our Friday Family Fun night (that's a different post I think). This chart shows what he needs to do, as well as ties into our Jedi Training Academy. So far, it's working out pretty good.
We also needed something to help him track his behavior. As most parents with ADHD children know, structure is key. And so is knowing what expectations are. That's why The Monk has 3 things that he needs to do, every day. If he can get good marks for at least 3 days a week, we can have our Friday Family Fun night (that's a different post I think). This chart shows what he needs to do, as well as ties into our Jedi Training Academy. So far, it's working out pretty good.
The chore cards are something that I created on Word using a business card template. I wanted the tasks to be as detailed as possible. At first The Monk thought that he had to do them all. I explained to him that since we are a team, he has to do a few of the items and I have to do a few of the items (and, on occasion, The Hubs pitches in too). Then we check it off that it's been done and move on to the next card. There are only 2 cards per day. This is awesome for us because then I feel as though something is getting done, The Monk is helping, and he's not overwhelmed by thinking that he has to do all this work (because we all know how much children love helping out with chores when the sun is shining and the weather is warm!).
What's been nice about the chore cards is that The Monk can carry them around with him. He reads what needs to be done, we divide up the tasks, and then do a little happy dance with everything on the card has been completed. I think that it gives him a sense of control, because he gets to tell me what needs to be done as he is reading off the card. Granted, we are still in the honeymoon phase of this new system, but we've had some positive results so far. And since this is really about me getting help around the house, I think that I'll be more motivated to make sure that it continues to work. I don't want to be the only one keeping the place clean, you know what I'm saying?
Cheers!
Cheers!