So, as I sat one night just pondering life in general, I came up with a way to help our son get back onto the path of wisdom/compassion and decided that we needed a bucket. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this concept, it is the theory that everyone's heart is like a bucket. When you do nice things for someone, you fill their bucket, bad or mean things empty it. Well, we've been using this technique for some time now when talking with The Monk about how he can empty someone's bucket if he is mean to them or when he talks back, etc. However, talking hasn't been working. With ADHD, listening to someone babble on (such as your mother talking to you about misbehaviors - blah, blah, blah) doesn't really grab and hold the attention as much as it needs too. Because of this, The Monk is a visual/tactile learner. Now, I've known this for some time (which is why we have an interactive behavior chart and such), but the filling and emptying of buckets just wasn't sinking in during our heartfelt discussions on the stairs after a time out. So, I drew a bucket on our kitchen chalkboard and cut out and laminated some hearts. Now, whenever The Monk is caught doing something good with a kind and grateful heart, he gets to fill out a heart and fill up his bucket. Once his bucket is full, he has a visual clue that he has been loving and doing what is right. So far, this has been working like a charm! He loves filling in the hearts and sticking them in his bucket. We have also agreed that once he fills the bucket, we will all go out on a family date to share the love that has filled our buckets. I'm certainly knocking on wood and keeping my fingers crossed that this method continues to help my little man work on developing and growing his Buddhist heart.
As we continue to wade our way from the sea of chaos that has become our lives recently back onto a "normal" plain of existance, something that has been getting out of hand is the amount of attitude and back-talk that we have been receiving from The Monk. Now, generally, he is a good boy with a kind and helpful heart. Just, lately (because of all of the changes and such), there has been some struggle with maintaining a grateful and loving heart for our young man. He's been arguing a lot and just giving a whole bunch load of attitude (and if this is a sneak peak of what is to come in another 6 year, this has gotten to get taken care of ASAP!).
So, as I sat one night just pondering life in general, I came up with a way to help our son get back onto the path of wisdom/compassion and decided that we needed a bucket. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this concept, it is the theory that everyone's heart is like a bucket. When you do nice things for someone, you fill their bucket, bad or mean things empty it. Well, we've been using this technique for some time now when talking with The Monk about how he can empty someone's bucket if he is mean to them or when he talks back, etc. However, talking hasn't been working. With ADHD, listening to someone babble on (such as your mother talking to you about misbehaviors - blah, blah, blah) doesn't really grab and hold the attention as much as it needs too. Because of this, The Monk is a visual/tactile learner. Now, I've known this for some time (which is why we have an interactive behavior chart and such), but the filling and emptying of buckets just wasn't sinking in during our heartfelt discussions on the stairs after a time out. So, I drew a bucket on our kitchen chalkboard and cut out and laminated some hearts. Now, whenever The Monk is caught doing something good with a kind and grateful heart, he gets to fill out a heart and fill up his bucket. Once his bucket is full, he has a visual clue that he has been loving and doing what is right. So far, this has been working like a charm! He loves filling in the hearts and sticking them in his bucket. We have also agreed that once he fills the bucket, we will all go out on a family date to share the love that has filled our buckets. I'm certainly knocking on wood and keeping my fingers crossed that this method continues to help my little man work on developing and growing his Buddhist heart.
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So, there is something that I have noticed about being the mother of a child with severe ADHD: Once they get off schedule, and it's been several days that they've been off that schedule, it is harder than HECK to get them back into the groove of things. The Monk has been off of a regular schedule for about 3 weeks now (we had to help my family move and things have just been plain hectic), so I tried to get him back into some sort of semblance of routine today and he is fighting me tooth and nail. I figured that I would practice having a routine now, during the summer, when I can make any adjustments that might be necessary. Of course, this is not going like I had planned or hoped. He is resisting any sort of routine or structure, which is odd because he does better with a schedule. Which is why I really had a hard time getting him off of his routine.
I've researched this before and I know that kids with ADHD need structure, and having that messed with can lead to changes in behavior and attitude. The Monk has been really snarky and difficult because of our lack of routine, often throwing tantrums and giving attitude. This really stresses me out. So, in order to get us back into a schedule, I thought that we could start our day with breakfast and then move right into doing some practice schoolwork. That so didn't happen. Since his medication takes about an hour to kick in, moving him right into the classroom isn't going to work (which is making me rethink how I have our homeschooling day structured). He needs some time to burn on his early morning energy. So, after having a battle royale of being in the classroom, we moved into chores (which caused me some anxiety, because once I have the idea of how something should go, then that is how I expect it EXACTLY to go - a little OCD, I know). This seemed to help actually. He was able to get some of his energy released and it allowed time for his medication to set in so that he could better concentrate. Now we are finally in the classroom, getting just a few worksheets done (not nearly as much as I had hoped, but then, I'm probably setting my expectations too high for both him and myself), and although there is still some whining and reluctance, we are getting back into the swing of things (albeit, slowly, very, very slowly). |
How it all started...I was a public school teacher for 6 years in a very urban middle school for both 7th and 8th grade. As the red-tape got thicker and teaching became more of a business rather than a place to prepare young minds to enter into the world, I decided that if I was going to work that hard to give an education to someone, it should be my own son. So, my adventures in homeschooling has begun. Follow us on Instagram!
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